First weekend in New Orleans

So this has been my first weekend in New Orleans. I landed Friday afternoon and I have been staying at Marla Jean and Trent's house. Marla Jean is the city coordinator for the WOW Jams here in New Orleans. I must admit before leaving San Diego I was very scared and nervous. I realized that I was scared because this trip signifies my first step to the rest of my life. Yes, I have lived on my own for a while, I had to pay bills, and I have also gone off this last year to college on my own; but it wasn't until boarding the plane to go to a city that I barely knew to stay with people that I barely knew that I really felt like I was taking my first real step. It has been a step into adulthood, the first step into the rest of my life and more importantly a step of faith. As the days grew closer to leave I began to become more and more fearful of the unknown of this trip. Fears of the people I would be staying with, or being depended on when I felt that I really didn't have enough to give haunted me. I had let these fears take over my heart so much that I greatly considered not coming. But it was the people pleasing side in me and knowing that my ticket had already been paid for that I hesitantly got on the plane.While on the plane I wrote in my journal my fears and prayed. Soon after I was able to take a bit of a nap, and when I woke up I felt a little better.
After I woke up I felt the need to talk to the guy sitting next to me, but my own pride or fear got in the way. I kept pushing it off. The more I pushed it off the stronger my nerves grew inside of me and that was how I knew that this wasn't just random chance that we were placed next to each other. Right as my nerves were about to get the best of me I glanced over to the notebook he was studying and saw that the information was familiar to me. His name was Elijah and I casually asked him about what he was studying and from there a conversation began to arise. We started asking questions about the other person and we actually had a great conversation. It was when we got on the topic of family that I realized the reason for our encounter. Elijah's parents have been going through a rough couple of years with their health. Santos, Elijah's dad, had a heart attack two years ago and still has a high chance of getting another one. His dad has had to take it easy the past few years in order to maintain his health. Now Elijah's mom, Gloria, recently just had lung failure and is in need of a lung transplant. Gloria loves to garden and spends much of her time doing so, but the doctor ordered her to stay out of the sun. As Elijah told me about his parents it just broke my heart. This family has gone through so much in such a short amount of time. I asked him if he would give me the names of his parents and if he minded if I could continue to pray for their healing. As I asked and I watched him listen to my question for just a moment I saw his face change. It was as if I had offered him a magical pill that would make everything better. It was as if I had just done something in offering prayer. Looking back that moment was absolutely priceless. So often I am scared to offer prayer either in the moment or to let them know that I will be praying for them. Especially if they are not from school or church, but this moment was able to show me just how much people really believe in the power of prayer no matter what negative things they say about it. This family has greatly been put on my heart so if you are reading this please take a moment to pray for them. Pray for the healing and restoration of the family.
Now since actually being in New Orleans I have been trying to catch up on sleep, get adjusted to the time change and get accustomed to the heat. I have spent a lot of time getting to know Marla and Trent, as well as what many different ways Marla is involved in ministry. They are an amazing couple that are doing wonderful things for the Lord. Last night Sam and Chuck came over for dinner and it was just a blast having them. They have such an amazing story and are so lively. I think most of the night we spent it laughing. They are also doing amazing things. Sam is doing the counseling at a church, and Chuck is doing a lot of work with Catholics. They are just absolutely amazing. Today we went to church at the CrossRoads Church which is  Jim Woodard's church. I will be working with them later on in the summer. The first Sunday of every month they have what they call family day, which is a potluck and everyone hangs out and fellowships over a meal with each other. I really enjoyed the concept behind it.
Right now I sit in my room at Marla's house and I am just absolutely amazed at how God is working in so many people's lives. Almost all of the stories I have heard this weekend have been of just that. How God has lead them to things they would have never dreamed and has given them all the right connections that other wise would have never happened. It has just been so great seeing so much in such a short amount of time. I am still a little nervous about being here, but I am not as afraid anymore. I am just anxious to see what comes of this summer.

My Year in a Nutshell

It is hard to believe how fast a year has gone by. Just this time last year I thought that I was going to be going to San Diego Christian, and I thought that I wanted to be a children's or a youth pastor. It has only been my first year at Bible college and I think back to a year ago, and I know that I am not the same person I was when I started the journey of going off to Bible college. Every time that I think that I start to gain understanding in one area there i go tumbling down to a deeper level. If there is anything that I have truly come to understand in my first year it is that I truly don't know anything. There is so much to this world that I didn't even know existed and I know that there is even more that I have yet or will never have the chance to discover. But this morning as I was looking back on my pictures and the option of making a collage came up I started reflecting on the memories of this year.
Looking back I can see how the Lord has continued to guide me especially when I didn't even know that He would even want to. I think back to how my first idea was to go back to school and attend a Christian school. As I looked into San Diego Christian somehow with out hesitation I declared my major to be Biblical Studies. Why I have no idea. That was truly the Lord's doing because I seriously had no clue as to what I was getting myself into. Last summer for the first time God asked me to step out and faith and withdraw from SDCC with no back up, and only having a month before school was to start. To me it seemed like magic the way that Life Pacific worked out, but at first I did not want to go. At the time I wasn't sure why other than Bo had gone there and I didn't want to be a copy cat. I know real mature! As I continued to look into the process just took off. Everything that took me months to do for SDCC only took a week to pan out. The way people just opened up and helped in such a time of need was so amazing to me. I thought it was just because they were nice people, and they are, but God orchestrated it so that these people would be in my path at the right time. May God bless their obedient hearts.

Time drew near and it was time to move in. At that point we still hadn't figured out all of the financial aid and really didn't know how we were going to get me through school. Somehow we went in faith. As we sat with those in financial aid they were so incredibly helpful, their goal was truly to see me in school. Such amazing people! I was so intimidated by move in day to be honest. Though there was such a peace on the campus I closed up like a clam I guess for my own fears. I didn't know it then, but my roommate Charisse truly was heaven sent. It was strange it wasn't that we were necessarily best friends, but she was always there for me when I needed her, and she taught me to be me just by her being who she was. I love that girl. I would say the first few weeks were a little awkward as we began to find our friends. Luckily for me I never had to search to far. The girls in my quad became some of the closest friends that I have ever had. Each one of them so different and yet made such an incredible impact on my life. Hannah is such a strong woman and very opinionated. She taught me patience as well as learning how to hold my tongue, which has always been hard for me. She's such an amazing person and has such a strong relationship with God I love her dedication. Then there was Lauren. I admire her so much. She has one of the purest hearts that I have ever seen. She is always patient and loving, something I desperately long to be. She always sees the good and the beauty in things. Plus she is just a blast to be around. When I think of Lauren she makes me smile. She truly is a great friend. Last but not least there is Danni. Oh how Danni and I have had a year! She is so much like me it's a miracle that we stayed good friends and didn't kill each other. She put me in my place when it needed to be, and loved me for all of who I am. During first semester she was the strength that I needed in a friend, and I will be forever grateful. Because with out her I don't know that I would have made it to the second semester. God truly brought me four angels to guide me through this first year and I love every single one of them.

God truly blessed me this year by restoring my relationship with my family. For so many years there has been so much tension and stress. Having a broken family always hurt, but I never I wanted it to. I always pretended it was ok. For some reason I always felt the need to let my parents think that it was all ok

The theme for my own personal growth has been 'Our Past Does not Define Our Future.' Which was also the name of the lesson I gave when I taught a group of our high school girls for the first time. It has been a year of learning about God's love for me. It has been a year of letting go of the negative perception of myself. Most importantly finding the worth that God has placed on me and knowing that my actions are not who I am, but just mistakes I have made. Now I am not going to make it seem that I have mastered any of these concepts because I am so far from it. They are just the lessons that I am barely beginning to understand. There is so much more to be done in these areas, but knowing what I need to work on is a starting point.

I could probably write at least half of a book just on the experiences of this first year. There has been a lot of tears, laughter, love, anger, confusion, revelations and joy. I have been surrounded by amazing people all year long: mentors, friends, and father figures. God sent me life savers in the shape of people to whom I will be eternally grateful.

Thanks for an amazing year.

Center picture left to right:me, Charisse, Hannah, Lauren, and Danni

My trip to New Orleans

Landing in New Orleans airport I was a little hesitant. What on earth was I doing here? There were so many fears that were running through my mind, and I could not gain control of them. Taking our first step it instantly smelt differently and it was humid. We piled into a van and started driving. Everything was so different that I felt like I was in a dream. For the first time I was lost. I had no idea where I was or how to get back in case of anything. Everything was so new that I couldn’t keep track of the path we were on. For the first time in a long time I had to completely depend on the leaders of this trip because I had not the slightest clue as to where to go.

            We went out to breakfast and could not have been more tired from the plane ride where I got very little sleep. I still wasn’t sure about how I felt about being in New Orleans. After breakfast we went to the hotel to check in and there was a delay in getting our room. By the time we were able to lie down we had enough time for maybe a two hour nap. We woke up and got ready for dinner and went over to Pastor Jimmy and Francine’s house. We met all the pastors that were part of the comity for the Wow Jam in New Orleans, and then we had dinner. Dinner was incredible. The food was absolutely amazing there was just so much flavor in everything. After dinner they took us on our surprise outing to go on a horse carriage ride through the French Quarter and eat Beignets. As we were on the carriage ride you can feel the brokenness. We went through Bourbon St. and my spirit began to take a plunge. There was something about it that just drained me. There were Voodoo shops, bars, and strip clubs. Most of the buildings were supposedly haunted, and it wouldn’t be surprised if spirits did live in the upper stories of the building. There was apparently a huge fire that had happen many years ago and people were trapped at the top of these buildings and had the choice to either burn or to try jumping out. Many people lost their lives that day. So now there are many buildings that the top floors remain vacant. What surprised me the most was that there were people giving haunted tours. The tours didn’t bother me but it was the tour guide that had so much passion for the houses being haunted. You could feel the demonic spirits flowing through some of them. There was walkway in front of a church that had palm readers and tarot cards. This city was so broken and you could feel it.

            The next day we went over to pastor Jimmy’s church and had our first session, which was basically a teaching that we would have once a day by different pastors from the partnering churches. We then went to Household of Faith with Pastor Barriere to have our kick off rally. Their worship team came out and led us in southern soul worship. It was absolutely amazing! Then Dr. Flores shared a word with us, and we just watched how people would pull on the speaker encouraging and feeding back into them. It was powerful because it would give the speaker strength and motivation to keep going and to continue to let the Holy Spirit minister. That was one of the key principles that I can say that I am taking away. Stephen talks about key principals all the time so I’ll be sure to point them out as I go along.

            Sunday morning we left the hotel around 7am and went out to the park to begin setting up. There was news cast that wanted to come and film the crew setting up, and get some interviews in. As we were setting up Dr. Flores was called for an interview. They asked to have some students around him and I was one of them. After the interview they wanted an interview of a student and they chose me. After setting up we went to Household of Faith for service, and Pastor Barriere just brought it home. He spoke on how God wants to bless us, but most of the time we don’t make ourselves available to Him. We make ourselves so busy that we don’t find our giftings, we don’t serve in the church and we never see the fruit that God is trying to flow through our lives. * note- key principal* after service we headed back to the park preparing for volunteers that were starting to flow in. One o’clock and WOW Jam has just started. Let me break down a Wow Jam. Basically it is a free event where people can come and get food, get there hair cut, face painting and other kid activities, free groceries for families, hang out in a safe environment and most importantly they hear the Good News. At first there weren’t a whole lot of people that were coming. The booths are only open for a small period of time and then the rest of the time everyone’s attention is on the stage for raffles, games and the message. When the booths starting tearing down you began to see many people coming to the front of the stage curious to see what was to come. Key principal- Stephen has been teaching us about being finely tuned to the Holy Spirit, and just in the middle of the daddy push up contest the atmosphere shifted. It was time to go to work. Stephen started ministering and people started listening and crying. Then within seconds people were receiving the Lord. I was in front and had a group of three kids Keyo 5, Christina7, and Christopher 9. Christopher and Christina’s other brother Israel, the youngest of them, joined us after. I could see such an anointing on Keyo’s life. They were all so sure of their decision, and in that moment I thought that life couldn’t get any better. Quickly I was reminded about crabs. Now hear me out. You never have to put a lid on a pit of boiling crabs because if one tries to escape the ones in the water will reach out and drag them back into the boiling water. New Orleans is a pot of boiling water full of many crabs that keep the one’s who try to do better down in the water. All four of the kids had made the decision to be baptized, but both of the moms said no. When Keyo found out that his mom said no he began to weep. There is a difference between a kid crying and throwing a tantrum and a kid weeping. He knew in his heart that this was the right thing, but people were standing in his way I saw him a little bit later and I asked if he was ok, and Keyo just began to cry. I hugged him and assured him that he would have another opportunity and told him that I loved him About 150 people received the Lord that day. I never thought that I could be apart of something so amazing.

            The next day we passed out flyers for the next WOW Jam that would be on Tuesday. Then the rest of the evening we spent time making phone calls trying to go and do home visits. There was not much success, but we called everyone that had accepted Christ to encourage them. Tuesday came and it was time for the second WOW Jam. We began setting up the tents but the weather began to fight us. The wind picked up and tried taking the tents with them. Finally after nailing the tents into the grass things started to go smoothly. It seemed that this was the easy WOW Jam that we had experienced. Things were flowing and people were having a great time. During the singing competition people began to let their guard down and it was time to go to work. There was an eight year old boy who sang “Eye on the Sparrow.” It’s an old worship song and honestly I don’t know how it goes, but I do know that a lot of people were touched by not only this young boy’s talent, but by the words of the song. Stephen had the boy sing it again and people began to break down. Stephen began to share the good news, and that day we had more people saved than at any of the other WOW Jams. When it came time to get into groups and pray I had three families in my group. The first the son was receiving the Lord and his mom and sister were there. The next family was the Bradfords. It was Connie and Kenneth Bradford who were young grandparents. The last family would not open up to me. After praying the Bradfords accepted my invitation of coming back the next day and praying with them. It was quickly arranged and the next day Nathan, Rebecca Siarra, and I went to visit them. Three of the grandkids were saved and baptized the night before, and so we were explaining what it all meant. Good thing that it was a team effort because it was the first time I had ever had to explain baptism or salvation to anyone. So we were able to bounce off each other and give different perspectives to them about why their decision was so great. As we were getting ready to leave Kenneth pulled Nathan aside outside and thanked us for coming. Kenneth went on to explain how that had been the first time that the whole family was in the same room since they had moved in there, and that he knew that God was there at the WOW Jam. It was amazing to hear when we got back in the van and headed back to the church.

            The next day was our day off. We spent it in the French Quarter shopping and just walking around. We walked down Bourbon St and my spirit was drained. We passed bar after bar and the further we went the darker it got. We saw Voodoo shops and strip clubs, and it was just a dark place even though it was still midday. When we got off that street I felt that I had trouble breathing. I just felt brought down for a while. Danni came and prayed for me and I felt better for a while, but the whole rest of the day was just off. At the end of the day on the way back to the hotel we were talking about dark spirits and them sticking to you, and Nathan led us I prayer just in case. It wasn’t until after this that I felt released from the funk that I had been in and was able to be myself again.

            Friday was the day of the last WOW Jam and this one was in Algiers. This was a very hard city. From what we heard there was probably sex offenders, drug dealers, gang members, crack addicts, and prostitutes at this WOW Jam. From the beginning we could sense a difference in the feel of the place. As the WOW Jam went on we kept hitting a spiritual wall. The enemy was not happy that we were there. Rose came up to us and told us that we really needed to be walking around and praying, but a small group of us went behind the truck and began to pray. We went back out and things hadn’t lifted. Tony came over and said for us to round up all the students that we could and to meet in the back of the truck to pray. This time there was about ten of us along with Robert and Dee Dee, as well as Titus from our catering company. We just prayed out hearts out for maybe five or ten minutes. We went back around to the front and within a few minutes it started to shift, but it started with a lady having a seizure. Stephen took a hold of the moment, and though there were people tending to the lady he began take a hold of the crowd. We later found out that it was not a seizure, but an overdose on pills. Within a few minutes of that happening another lady fell into what we thought was another seizure. As Stephen really grabbed the crowd back Rose went and began to assist the second lady. This was not a seizure either. The lady was under a spiritual attack and had been taken over by a demonic spirit. When Rose realized what was happening she began praying against it, and though it put up a fight it finally left her. During all of this my heart is just broken now. What was I supposed to do? I felt like God did not want me to move from the spot that I was in. I soon found out why. God wanted me there for Armeshia. Armeshia had been crying into her friends arm for a while as Stephen had been preaching. I finally walked over and began to pray over her, and I just held her. She suddenly walked away. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if to follow her or to stay for the altar call which was about to happen. I decided to go after her. I asked why she had left, and she told me she needed to walk away in order to stop crying. I told her it was ok to cry and that my shoulder was made for tears. She cried in my arms and managed to tell me that she had been living the wrong lifestyle since her grandma died two years ago. It was then that I was given the opportunity to share my story and how God has redeemed my life. At first I was nervous because I had never told my story to strangers; it was always with people that I had already trusted as friends. She looked at me and was able to understand that God would be able to change her life to. The next day I met with her again and found out that she had been living the gay lifestyle since her grandmother died. She brought her best friend with her who was also gay and between Nathan, Brian, and I we were able to spend time loving them. It was hard to even know what to say when she has told me how so many believers have condemned her and told her she was going to burn in hell. I had never faced homosexuality as a believer, but we were able to open them up to the love of God and His restoration. Since then I have remained in contact with Armeshia we deal through the struggles of life together.

            This trip was an eye opening experience. God has since been teaching me the value of a soul, and how hard we must fight not only to get one but to keep it. These were just a few stories of what happened in those ten days time. So many amazing things happened, and God used me in a way that I could never have imagined. It has always been hard for me to pray for people because I never thought I said the right thing. God transformed that. I never thought that I would be able to walk with them as they are discovering God, and to be a witness as He transforms their lives. I thought a lot of negative things about my own unworthiness, and since then God has been showing me how desperately He needs that to change in order for Him to be able to continue to use me. Today I am here before you ruined in by all measures to ever let myself be the same as I once was. God has showed me a new level of deep to explore even further for the ministry that He is currently preparing me for.

WOW JAM #1

Today we had our first WOW JAM. There were so many people there. It was the most amazing thing when we did the altar call to see how many people gave there life to the Lord today. After they gave their life to Christ we got in groups of 3-4. I was up in front and I got to pray for three little kids. There was Keyo(age5), Christopher (age9), and Christina (age 7). I got to pray over them and they had all committed to being baptized. As I was walking them over to the pool their other brother came over and said he didn't get a Bible and that he had given his life to God. His name was Israel. After getting him a Bible I was walking them all over to the pool and the mother of the three siblings came over and grabbed them. They said they were going to get baptized and she said no. The aunt of Keyo came over and told me that she needed to call his mom before he could to make sure that it was ok. His mom said no. The four kids were told that they couldn't be baptized. Keyo began crying so hard it broke my heart. I saw him a little bit later and asked him how he was doing and he started crying again. All I could say was that it would be ok and that he would have a chance to do it again some other time, to keep Jesus in his heart and that I loved him. He walked away and I was just so frustrated. Why were these kids families not being supported? It's the kids decision! Then during dinner it hit me. I am blessed. The people in my church they are blessed. The people on this team on this missions trip they are blessed. We have all been blessed with supportive families that allow us to believe what we believe. It is not always like that. More often than not people have to go through heck and back when the accept Jesus, and for so many of us it has just been a cake walk accepting the Lord. Not that any one has had any easy road, it's just been easier to be a follower of Christ. Remember that the next time you are hesitant to share your faith because you are free to do so, where as many in the world will die for the Name of the Lord. If you are reading this I ask that you pray over the people that are being brought to God's kingdom because of these WOW JAMS, but please in particular pray for these kids who have had the anointing of God placed upon their lives. Today the heavens rejoiced when they were saved and hell became so afraid that the enemy messed with the only thing he could which was their mother. Please remember how blessed you truly are. My favorite quote so far: "Live your life like someone else's depends on it because it does."-Stephen Trivoni

landing in New Orleans

So yesterday I got on the plane in LA and after fighting so hard to fall asleep and failing I woke up in New Orleans this morning. We have been fighting against the enemy since we arrived at the airport last night. One of the girls had to stay behind because she didn't have and id. One of our guys thought he lost his id after going through security. Then our plane was delayed. And in all of this we still couldn't wait to get going. We got on the plane and landed in New Orleans this morning at 7 am. We left for breakfast after grabbing our bags and sat there for quit a bit of time waiting for things at the hotel to clear up. We arrived at the hotel thinking that it would be just moments until we would be laying our heads on a soft pillow for the first time in 24 hours. It's been and hour and half and we are still waiting to be checked into our rooms. Everyone has been struggling to keep their best attitude, especially me. It has been driving me nuts and I have wanted to just scream. Luckily I have been able to contain myself and hopefully hide the strain this is all putting on me. I know that this is a major attack from the enemy. He's trying to get a rise out of all of us and see how far he can mess with this trip. Please keep praying for us. We haven't even been gone a day yet and we are being tested.
On the other hand New Orleans is such a strange place. It's so different already from anything that I have ever experienced. People have southern draws and call you baby. I feel so vulnerable in a place where I don't know where anything is. I have to depend solely on the leaders of the trip. This is definitely testing my control issues. I know the Lord is going to be doing something here. If the enemy is already trying to fight us then it must be something big. What though I can't even begin to imagine.

New Orleans...

So today is the day. Tonight I will be heading down to the airport to jump on a plane that will take me to New Orleans. I can say that I am super excited, but I cannot exclude my nervous feelings. The Lord has put it on my heart to go on this trip although the closer I get to it the more I cannot understand why he is calling me to be in this city at this particular time. It's a bit overwhelming to think that the God of the universe is going to use me in some way to advance his kingdom. Me? The sinner and barely saved Christian that I am is going to help bring people to Christ? Is anyone else hearing this? Doesn't anyone else know that there are a million more qualified than I am? It's hard to believe that this amazing God is going to use someone like me to bring his love and hope into the lives of those who have undergone so much pain and sorrow.That I would be of value to help those who have gone through more than I could ever imagine and have been under far more oppression than I would ever want to believe possible. How will I be able to make a difference in these people's life? Now I am not second guessing God's abilities, that would be dumb. I guess I have yet to see how my life can help other people. I just feel way that I am in way over my head. So with all of this I ask that you be praying. Pray that I allow myself to be used as his tool for the places we go and the people I meet. Pray for our protection against the enemy. Please pray that we are all awakened by this trip and come back changed. Thank you in advance for your prayers and I can't wait to talk to you all when I get back.

goodbye childhood

So in a matter of hours i will soon turn 21. In our culture today 21 is a big birthday to celebrate because that's the last milestone you look forward to. From here on out that is it I am an adult. There is no more just "oh she's young she still has time to learn" but rather this is the time that i need to be learning and figuring these things out. Yea I cold probably get away with still having a child's heart, but that's it. It is such a weird concept to fully grasp. I am now becoming an adult. My life is changing and reality is starting to hit. The things I always imagined that I would some day get to are soon to be the days that I am going to need to start getting around to them. I never thought that I would be the kind of person to freak out as I aged, but here I am so blown away by this concept of growing older. With age comes wisdom and wisdom is something that I am so desperately seeking, but i guess I just always saw everyone else getting older as I stayed the same. Almost as if there was no sense in aging for myself that it was just the world around me. Now I am realizing that I am growing older right along with the world. I guess I always saw people who were older than me as a lot older even if they were a couple years older. Mainly because I thought you had to be at a certain level or look a certain way to be their age or anywhere near it. As I write this I realize how dumb that sounds, and yet those were my exact thoughts. Age is such a crazy concept. It's probably not as complicated as I am making it out to be, but still there is just a strange feeling. Goodbye childhood hello adulthood. I guess I really should have listened to people when they told me to enjoy  my youth because it really does go by faster than you can even realize.