My Year in a Nutshell

It is hard to believe how fast a year has gone by. Just this time last year I thought that I was going to be going to San Diego Christian, and I thought that I wanted to be a children's or a youth pastor. It has only been my first year at Bible college and I think back to a year ago, and I know that I am not the same person I was when I started the journey of going off to Bible college. Every time that I think that I start to gain understanding in one area there i go tumbling down to a deeper level. If there is anything that I have truly come to understand in my first year it is that I truly don't know anything. There is so much to this world that I didn't even know existed and I know that there is even more that I have yet or will never have the chance to discover. But this morning as I was looking back on my pictures and the option of making a collage came up I started reflecting on the memories of this year.
Looking back I can see how the Lord has continued to guide me especially when I didn't even know that He would even want to. I think back to how my first idea was to go back to school and attend a Christian school. As I looked into San Diego Christian somehow with out hesitation I declared my major to be Biblical Studies. Why I have no idea. That was truly the Lord's doing because I seriously had no clue as to what I was getting myself into. Last summer for the first time God asked me to step out and faith and withdraw from SDCC with no back up, and only having a month before school was to start. To me it seemed like magic the way that Life Pacific worked out, but at first I did not want to go. At the time I wasn't sure why other than Bo had gone there and I didn't want to be a copy cat. I know real mature! As I continued to look into the process just took off. Everything that took me months to do for SDCC only took a week to pan out. The way people just opened up and helped in such a time of need was so amazing to me. I thought it was just because they were nice people, and they are, but God orchestrated it so that these people would be in my path at the right time. May God bless their obedient hearts.

Time drew near and it was time to move in. At that point we still hadn't figured out all of the financial aid and really didn't know how we were going to get me through school. Somehow we went in faith. As we sat with those in financial aid they were so incredibly helpful, their goal was truly to see me in school. Such amazing people! I was so intimidated by move in day to be honest. Though there was such a peace on the campus I closed up like a clam I guess for my own fears. I didn't know it then, but my roommate Charisse truly was heaven sent. It was strange it wasn't that we were necessarily best friends, but she was always there for me when I needed her, and she taught me to be me just by her being who she was. I love that girl. I would say the first few weeks were a little awkward as we began to find our friends. Luckily for me I never had to search to far. The girls in my quad became some of the closest friends that I have ever had. Each one of them so different and yet made such an incredible impact on my life. Hannah is such a strong woman and very opinionated. She taught me patience as well as learning how to hold my tongue, which has always been hard for me. She's such an amazing person and has such a strong relationship with God I love her dedication. Then there was Lauren. I admire her so much. She has one of the purest hearts that I have ever seen. She is always patient and loving, something I desperately long to be. She always sees the good and the beauty in things. Plus she is just a blast to be around. When I think of Lauren she makes me smile. She truly is a great friend. Last but not least there is Danni. Oh how Danni and I have had a year! She is so much like me it's a miracle that we stayed good friends and didn't kill each other. She put me in my place when it needed to be, and loved me for all of who I am. During first semester she was the strength that I needed in a friend, and I will be forever grateful. Because with out her I don't know that I would have made it to the second semester. God truly brought me four angels to guide me through this first year and I love every single one of them.

God truly blessed me this year by restoring my relationship with my family. For so many years there has been so much tension and stress. Having a broken family always hurt, but I never I wanted it to. I always pretended it was ok. For some reason I always felt the need to let my parents think that it was all ok

The theme for my own personal growth has been 'Our Past Does not Define Our Future.' Which was also the name of the lesson I gave when I taught a group of our high school girls for the first time. It has been a year of learning about God's love for me. It has been a year of letting go of the negative perception of myself. Most importantly finding the worth that God has placed on me and knowing that my actions are not who I am, but just mistakes I have made. Now I am not going to make it seem that I have mastered any of these concepts because I am so far from it. They are just the lessons that I am barely beginning to understand. There is so much more to be done in these areas, but knowing what I need to work on is a starting point.

I could probably write at least half of a book just on the experiences of this first year. There has been a lot of tears, laughter, love, anger, confusion, revelations and joy. I have been surrounded by amazing people all year long: mentors, friends, and father figures. God sent me life savers in the shape of people to whom I will be eternally grateful.

Thanks for an amazing year.

Center picture left to right:me, Charisse, Hannah, Lauren, and Danni