Lessons of New Orleans- My letter to the Pastors

There are events in our life that seem to change the course of our lives. Our life changing moments can be as big as the mountains or as subtle as a soft breeze. As these moments come together through out our lives we can God’s original intent for our lives. New Orleans was one of my life defining experiences.

As I spent two months in New Orleans I went through some of my most difficult challenges with myself. Once again I thought that I had figured God out. I had come to New Orleans thinking that I knew how this internship was going to work. Well I am sure God had a good laugh at that. God had other plans for me. There had been things in my heart that I was just willing to bury deep down and not deal with it, but in order to move on to the next step it was time to deal with my heart.

            Immediately upon arrival I was tested and stretched. I had never thought that I would miss my family as much as I did in the time that I was in New Orleans. Even though I missed them terribly after being home I wonder if the longing I had for them was more about the comfort and familiarity that they brought. I love them and have a deeper appreciation for them now, but in a city of the unknown nothing sounds better than going back to what you know. I knew going through with this trip would be preparing me for something that is yet to come. Being back at home has showed me that with God I really can be anywhere and go through anything because He is the one that carries me through it. At the end of every day my parents weren’t there, nor friends or family that had guided me though other life challenges. It was only me and God on this adventure. When I turned to Him or when I didn’t He was still the only one that was there walking through this journey with me. So even when it hurts, it’s hard and I really have no idea why I am in whatever new place; New Orleans will always be a testimony to myself that God will get me through anything and He is the only one that will never leave me. If that had been the only lesson that I walked away with from this trip it would have all been worth it.

            The amazing thing about God is that that was not the only thing that I learned! Going back through some of my notes I have seen so many more revelations than I thought that I had. I could probably write a book on how much I have learned, but for time and space I will share the things that the Lord emphasized. During my time at Household of Faith the Lord convicted me of forgiveness. He showed me how my forgiveness in the past had been shallow and that I was still holding on to so much pain. I also was shown how I have been a blessing stopper. I had never realized until then that a blessing is about benefiting me for only a moment, while that blessing really is supposed to move toward others that need to be blessed. It is something that I am still learning to live out.

            While being at Cornerstone Christian Center I saw that I need to make sure that who I am in ministry starts with who I am in my family. I cannot go and love other people’s families with out loving my own first. For a while now I believed that my family knew who I was and so it was ok that my attitude would slip more often than not. Now that I have seen that I need to be the same person all the way around. Our lives are not shows to put on for the world.

            At Crossroads I was challenged to find out who I am in Christ. This was probably one of my biggest challenges. It has been hard to accept the person that God created and chose. The truth is that regardless of the person I believe that I am I was chosen with no real explanation except for the fact that I am a mess. God seems to have a sense of humor because He likes to use one mess to clean up another, and even though it seems to make no logical sense to us it has worked every time.

            River of Life taught me to see people with the love of God. It is so easy to see people with our eyes which can cause us to miss great opportunities for God to work. It isn’t until we put God’s glasses on that we can love people the way He does. Unconditional. With out limits or requirements. Just love.

            In one very orchestrated by God afternoon I learned about the importance of relationships as well as the importance of reaching other nations. These are two subjects that I have always held close to my heart, which left me encouraged seeing a working example.

            Working through Kingdom Builders Ministry taught me about discipline. Often times I prefer to let things just happen because our plans never seem to work out anyway. Structure and order bring us closer to God because that is who He is. I have been far too comfortable allowing my life to be lived in chaos which tends to keep me away from God. The more disciplined that I became this summer the closer and deeper I felt toward God. It is definitely something I need to learn to keep practicing instead of letting just anything happen.

            These lessons flowed through each ministry that I worked with, however they came to life at these particular times. It really is hard to believe that the committee didn’t plan the flow and themes I came across this summer, but I guess that is what makes this experience so much more beautiful to me. Thank you each for your time and willingness to invest in my life. This experience will be something that I will be able to hold in my heart for the rest of my life. I love every one of you dearly. I am missing my New Orleans family already!